I don’t know if I should feel like this. I mean I just broke up with a guy after three years and now I am checking out guys like it never even happened. Maybe I was over long before I realized.
Well, this is what I wanted. I am moving on with my life and I’m not looking back. I’m ready to be happy. I’m ready to live life. And be me, with no restraints. Balls to the wall baby.
It’s strange to think that, not so long ago, technology didn’t control our lives. Now there isn’t a day that goes by where we have no need for it. Whether we’re driving to work, doing our homework, or even doing the dishes, technology plays a role in every situation.
Yes, I realize this is normally an awesome drinking game, but right now I am asking a serious question. Nothing along the lines of never doing sexual things with the same sex, but what you think.
Have you ever thought about what we were meant to do on this world? What we are meant to do on this planet? What am I supposed to do with my life? How will I know that I made the right choice when I am choosing between complete opposites?
I wish there was some sort of road map to help guide my way. I hate feeling like I am not doing what I am supposed to. I hate not knowing. Am I the only one? Am I the only one who feels like they are letting the world down?
I hope not. Because that seems like a very horrid life to lead. I hope I do not always feel like this. Hopefully, I will figure out my purpose and feel completely confident that it is what I am supposed to be doing. Until then, I guess I will just have to stomach this feeling and continue on my path to the best of my ability.
“ Use what talents you possess, the woods will be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. ”
Henry Van Dyke
I love Cory with all of my heart and my big left toe. He is the one I will love forever and ever no matter what happens. He has my heart and I have his. He is my rock that I hold on to through the bad and the sun I look to when everything else is dark. Without him I have nothing. Withoug him I am nothing. He is my glue, the peanut butter to my jelly, the ketchup to my eggs, the harmony to my melody. We work. We love eachother and people try to test that and mess with it everyday. I have learned that if people cannot accept your happiness then they are not people you want to be around anyway. I have learned that if they cannot accept who you want to be with then they are not your true friends. And if they cannot allow you to be happy and feel it necessary to torture and manipulate you then they need to fuck off and leave you alone to be happy with the one you love most. For me that is Cory, and he will always come number one. No one can tell me I do not love him and no one can tell me that I should not be with him. He is mine. And I am his. And people just need to accept that.
Black Friday. The day where it is socially acceptable to go crazy to get the best deals on things we really don’t need. And also the day to be completely rude to every employee we run in to.
Surprisingly the customers weren’t too bad. It was the co workers and the managers. Why must people be so irritating? Why do they have to slack off and make you work just that much harder? Why must they do it on a day like Black Friday?
I already don’t like the manager and she has to be that much more bitchy. I try to be nice but if she is going to act like that and treat me like that then screw it. Who does she think she is having some power trip like that? She may be a manager but I’m still a human being. I don’t appreciate being talked down to like I’m any less important than her. I could probably do her job better than she was.
And then there is her. She thinks she is SO much better than everybody else. I’m sorry but nobody is that amazing if they are going to block the doorway to the fitting room while they are supposed be working but instead are talking to their friends. Especially when there are about 30 people in line to try on clothes and they can’t get through. If your going to have a job, work. Slackers are not impressive and people who make others wait for their breaks because they decide to take 20 minute 15’s on one of the busiest days of the year do not come high on my list of favorite people.
Ugh. People.
“ Till the end when we part. I will give you my heart. And I’ll promise to love you with all that it is. And I’ll promise to be there whenever you need me. Because you’ll always be my best friend ”
Relient K
I had this friend. We haven’t talked in well over a month now. She was my best friend. But I do not know her anymore. And she does not know me. I don’t know if she ever really knew me or took the time to care. Well either way, she stopped talking to me over something stupid and accused me of not wanting her to be happy. That still doesn’t make sense to me. Why wouldn’t I want her to be happy? She was my best friend. It’s because of what happened in the past that made me not approve. But I guess she doesn’t care.
Now I have no best friend. No one to talk to and no one who knew as much about me as she once did. I worked so hard to be around more and that doesn’t matter. But this last part isn’t true. I do have a best friend and someone who knows more than she would ever care to know. He is my rock and my life and I owe everything to him. He makes the pain go away. He makes me forget about the emptiness and fills it.
I love him, and he wants me to be happy.
